Monthly Archives: March 2009

Grief and Loss

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While the joys of pregnancy are many, the pain and grief associated with miscarriage can be overwhelming.  After going through weeks with no problems, I experienced some bleeding this weekend, and today the doctor was unable to locate a heartbeat.  We are going through the loss of a child.  What do I do now?  I’ve experienced multiple miscarriages in the past (over 5) and although I have two healthy, beautiful children, this loss is a huge blow.  Leaving the doctor’s office today I was faced with a waiting room of happy, pregnant mothers.  I went home to a 4 year old asks “is the baby dead?”  She’s very perceptive, and very sensitive.  I tell her that Jesus is watching our baby for us.  She cries, “We could watch our baby.  Why can’t we take care of it?”  We cry together and have a piece of the cake we baked this weekend.  She sniffles, then smiles and asks if we can play dress up.

I have an empty place now.