His Lovely Wife

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A friend recently put a quote from a book she was reading on Facebook: “…when her husband came home from work he was greeted not by his children’s mother, and not by the housekeeper, but by the woman he married”. (Talking about the wife of the 50’s changing her clothes before her husband came home)”.  I’m not sure what book she was reading, but this little quote sparked a whole lot of comments.

Look, she even baked his favorite cake!

Look, she even baked his favorite cake!

Most of the people who responded were women… and they agreed with the sentiment of the quote.  It’s a nice way of showing your husband you were thinking of him during the day.  The concept was not really about being a 50’s Housewife, a Trophy Wife or a Stepford Wife – perfect and focused only on her man.  I think it really brings to light how easy it is as a stay-at-home mom to surrender to sweats and teeshirts all the time.  Now, there is nothing wrong with doing this sometimes… I do it all the time, and that’s sort of the problem.  I asked my husband and he said although he always thinks I’m pretty, it is especially nice when I put a little makeup on or wear “normal clothes” when he gets home.  The more I thought about it, the more I agreed with it.  It’s a simple and easy way to feel better as a woman to not always be seen just as Mom… but as Liz (it’s weird to even write my name because I’m called Mom so often). 
What do you think of this quote?  Do you think it’s sexist?  Do you think it focuses on outer beauty when all that should matter is inner beauty?  Do you agree with it?  Does it go both ways (and by the way, I think it does, since my husband recently shaved off the goatee he’s been sporting for a year because I thought it was “yucky”)?
I’m anxious to hear your thoughts!
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2 responses »

  1. Hi Liz
    ya know that is pretty interesting. Actually, when I read it I was thinking on a whole different level. My mind didn’t go to the wearing some nice clothes or make-up thing, but I read as if the husband was the responsible party in the quote. Here’s what I mean, that the husband comes home and maybe he views her as the housekeeper, or the children’s mother, or I think deeper is the wife forgets that she’s the wife. However, it’s not that she forgets to put on make-up or do her hair or wear nice clothes. I saw it more as a deeper reflective question. Where sometimes I forget that I am Ben’s wife. And being wife is even more important in my book than being mom or being housekeeper lady. I think for the husband, it could be easy to forget that this lady is the bride of his youth, too. How does he take delight in her? And how does she take delight in him?
    That aside and I think there is some truth to looking nice for Ben when he comes home. I’m so glad he doesn’t put so much value on whether I’m washed up well, but it would be nice to give him those treats without a date following.

  2. I totally 100% agree. I don’t do it every day but I do at least try to be “dressed” by the end of the day. 🙂 Makeup…well, that usually only happens when I leave the house. Maybe that should change. I’ll bet he’d appreciate it. I don’t think its a bit sexist. Showing someone respect and love is not degrading. ya know?

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